Birth Care Provider Red Flags
When choosing a birth care provider, it is crucial to be aware of red flags that may indicate a mis-alignment in your values or bait-and-switch techniques. Providers who dismiss your questions or concerns, exhibit poor communication skills, display a lack of empathy, or pressure you into decisions should be approached with caution. Additionally, if a provider consistently runs late, appears disorganized, or exhibits a lack of respect for your preferences and boundaries, it may be wise to seek alternative care. Paying attention to these red flags can help ensure that you receive the high-quality care and support you deserve during this important time in your life. Below are a few specific red flags that pregnant individuals unfortunately experience all-too-often.
Are they using scare tactics? Did they say something like, "Would you rather have a good experience or a living baby?" Or, "Would you rather have a natural birth or a healthy baby?" Or, "We can do that if you don't care that your baby might die." These types of statements are scare tactics, and your provider is avoiding level-headed and respectful conversations.
Are they ridiculing you? Do they brush off your desires? (Especially your desires of a low intervention birth). Did they say, "I bet you read that on social media." Or, "You want a natural childbirth? Why, broken bones are natural but we still give you pain medication for those." You can't expect a provider like this to see you as the ultimate authority of your own birth.
Are they condescending? Do they treat you like you're stupid? Did they say "I'm the one with the medical degree"? Or statements like, "Don't you know that women died all the time during birth before doctors?" Your provider does not respect that this is YOUR birth and YOU are in charge.
Are they patronizing you? Do they say things like, "You don't need to learn your options, don't you know I have your best interest in mind?" Or, "You could never understand it as well as I do, so why don't I make the decisions?" These types of statements might seem fine until you get a chance to reflect on them... but they are NOT signs of a supportive provider.
Are they turning your partner against you? Do they say things like, "I bet your husband can agree that it's best to leave it up to me." Or, "What does your husband think about your radical preferences?" Or does your doctor turn to your husband and ask, "Is she this stubborn at home?” Imagine them turning to your husband while you’re bearing down saying something similar.
Now that you have read some key red flag phrases, are you curious about what specific questions to ask your provider so you can detect these red flags sooner rather than later? I’ve got a 16-page FREE guide that includes five pages worth of questions and conversations you should have with your care provider during pregnancy, how to assess your care provider’s answers, and these red flags. Avoid the bait-and-switch and feel confident in how to Keep, Fire or Hire a new birth care provider. Download it here.
